We leave on vacation early tomorrow morning. We’re going to a tiny cabin in Tennessee. There will be kayaking. There will be bicycling and hiking. But none of these will compare to what follows – the Ola Belle Reed Homecoming Festival. Three days of kick-your-ass bluegrass and banjo workshops.
I’m tightening my banjo’s drum head and [...]

I have been wronged by ladies in the past. I nearly ate my own face when I got an email from one of them yesterday, and I demonstrated the utmost of decency and character when my response didn’t include the words “cadaverous slut.”

My sister Hannah is a server at a local upscale restaurant, so Mom, Dad, and I went to have her wait on us for dinner.
Hannah approached the table and Mom asked her about the Tex-Mex Eggrolls. I prayed for one of her rehearsed answers, which she gladly delivered.
“They’re filled with smoked chicken, corn, black beans, [...]

A Texan house is not what you might expect. We headed up the driveway but were blocked by ranch hands as they moved several cattle from one field to another. “Just you wait,” said Danny. “It gets weirder inside.”
The couple who lived at the house were already fast asleep in bed. We walked carefully up [...]

The last time I was on an airplane it was pretty much a toilet paper tube being tossed across the Atlantic on my way home from a semester in Ireland. So this was a welcome change – a big plane with legroom and smiling flight attendants.
There are certain nuances of air travel I’d forgotten about, [...]

How much of a goofball can you fit into a tuxedo?
All of him, apparently.

This just in: Danny got hitched without a hitch and Texas is hot.
We’re sitting in an airport in Charlotte right now, waiting on a connecting flight to Dulles. I swiped my dad’s iPhone and I’m using it right now to write this. The magic of technology!
We’ll be home in a few hours.

My very dear friend Danny Hunt is getting married in Texas on Saturday and I’m flying out tomorrow morning. So here I am in bed with a hot laptop perched, well, on my lap, writing a toast.
I’m remembering the time that he and I were in his car, heading to see our high school’s production [...]

My friend Brian graduated a couple years ago and is well-versed in matters of professional life. I asked him if he had any advice for me since this was my last day of work.
“Seduce your boss!” he said. “Take her to remote location, have your way with her, then leave her with nothing but a [...]

Accuracy. Integrity. Truth.
These are the cornerstones of good journalism as I understand them after three and a half years of media classes. They all went out the window today at work.
A big part of my job consists of writing brief headline-style summaries of daily news videos. Visitors to the website read the headlines and click [...]

I can’t believe I pay you $300 an hour to listen to me talk. There’s nothing you do that my imaginary friend can’t.

What I’m thinking when I’m driving home from work today:
“Frying Pan Road is a terrible name for a road. Why not Aggressive Drive? Or Divorce Court?”

Sunday afternoon we took a lazy canoe trip to Gravel Point. Once we arrived, we sat waist-deep in the bathtub temperature water to let the minnows nibble on our toes.
What if fish sounds were more audible? Swimming underwater would be intolerable. Nothing but the echoes of fish murdering each other and the sounds of rampant [...]

Dad had to record a speech for work. I have no idea what it’ll end up being used for. Probably as narration for a snappily-edited video about the hidden pleasures of document management.
After a great deal of trial and error with my new Pro Tools rig, Dad was in the bathroom (good acoustics), reading into [...]

I arrived at Matt and Mike’s apartment around 11:40 PM Thursday night.
“You couldn’t have come at a better time,” Mike said.
“Why’s that?”
“Because for this one hour each week, the vintage porn channel is unscrambled.”
Man, the three of us laughed a lot getting caught up on everybody’s life. Matt’s been getting into some watercolors. I pointed [...]