I went to the dentist today. This was a wise move because I use my teeth daily and I don’t know how much longer I’ll have insurance.

Mom and I were in Trader Joe’s today. Some fat mother was pushing her grocery cart down the aisle. It was piled high with organic produce and her small child was bouncing around in the seat. He threw his sippy-cup onto the floor but the fat mother never saw it.

Mom gave me a sharp elbow to the ribs. “Go pick up that kid’s cup.” I begrudgingly obliged her, picking the cup up off the floor and handing it back to little kid. The chubby woman thanks me handily. I walked back to mom.

“Don’t ever make me do that again,” I said.

“Do what again?”

“Touch dirty things like that cup.”

“Come on. It wasn’t dirty.”

“It’s been in a child’s hands and in a child’s mouth! I picked it up off the floor! It’s filthy! Never again.”

“It’s good to do nice things for strangers. You never know what could happen.”

“What, like that fat mom might give me her phone number?”

“What is wrong with you?” she asked.

“Everything,” I said.

Then a silly lady, decked from head to toe in running gear, some race logo emblazoned on her t-shirt, cut us off in line at the checkout. As she engaged in some empty banter with the cashier, I noticed her gray roots. I don’t know why, but this made me feel better.

Then mom and I were cut off in traffic on the way home. Tempers flared! We both shouted at the air for a moment.

“I can’t deal with drivers like that,” Mom said.

“No kidding.”

“Where do they get off driving that way?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “But did you see their bumper stickers? McCain-Palin.”

“That explains it,” said Mom. She can be pretty snarky sometimes.

“I shouldn’t think that way,” she explained. “God made you and I the same way He made them.”

“Oh, Mom,” I groaned. “No He didn’t.”